Squash Warning

 

I hope my friends like squash.  Because it seems I have accidentally planted too much of it.  On my yearly pilgrimage to Martin’s Greenhouse, I purchased two yellow squash and two zucchini seedlings.  No more, no less.  I am one person, living alone, who eats lunch out almost every day – I’m not sure why I think I need to plant anything, but I do.  So, I had my four plants, ready to go in the ground as soon as it warmed up a little. 

I did not know that mice and rats like squash plants.  I knew I had mice and even worse, rats that had chewed holes and found their way into my house.  I was working on getting rid of them, a saga deserving of a full-length novel that will go unwritten because it brings too many unpleasant memories and might lead to nightmares.  Anyway, I did not know that mice and rats would eat squash plants.  We never had rats in the house before this year.  I think they had heard about my mama, who would take a garden hoe after any varmint that threatened plants or animals she owned.  Word had gone around that the new occupant of this house was a softer touch and not as good with a hoe.  Anyway, imagine my surprise when I was watering all my baby plants in the laundry room and the little containers of squash were empty.  I looked at the dogs, who looked back at me innocently.  Surely Scout didn’t eat my squash plants.  He would probably have just emptied the whole thing in the floor and played with the containers.  It had to be those blasted rats.  On further examination, I saw that the stems, right down at dirt level, had been chewed off.  It seems another trip to the greenhouse would be necessary.

I was at the co-op the next day and the seed display caught my eye.  Squash seed!  So, maybe I could just plant some seeds in the same little containers and set them out in the garden.  It would certainly be cheaper than making a trip for more plants.  I planted two seeds in each of the compartments, set them in my kitchen window and settled back to wait.  After a week, there was no sign of life in my window.  The other local feed store had received a shipment of plants, so I stopped by there to see what was up.  Squash plants!  Really nice looking, large healthy squash plants.  The only problem was, they came in a pack of four and I didn’t really need four.  I mean, just do the math.  Four plants producing two or three squash a day would mean a dozen squash.  Oh well, I thought, I can give some of it away.  Then, the next day, at the farmer’s market, I found some single zucchini plants.  One zucchini seemed prudent.  About all I use it for is zucchini bread.  I was all set.  I now had four hills of squash and one hill of zucchini.

The next morning I went to the sink to wash last night’s dishes and lo and behold, eight tiny squash seedlings were peeking out of the dirt at the morning sun. They must have liked what they saw because by the next morning they were about three inches tall.

I suppose I could just throw them out, but I can hear my mama at my elbow talking about wasting food and starving children who would be happy to get even a single helping of squash.  So, in a few days, I will get the hoe and make homes for these tardy seedlings at the end of one of the rows.  Twelve plants – if they produce only two squash a day (Hah!), that will be twenty-four every day to find homes for.  I’m going to need a bigger garden basket.  And possibly more friends.  In about six weeks, everybody in town better lock your car doors when you park.